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While Eating a Granola Bar, Chauncey Gardner-Johnson Explains Tailoring Concern that Kept Him from Visiting White House

Kevin Kinkead

By Kevin Kinkead

Published:

Mark J. Rebilas-Imagn Images

CJGJ on social:

“Yo why I wasn’t at The White House? Because I was gettin’ fat. If you ask, if any of you people ask (mouth full of a granola bar), I was gettin’ fat. At the crib. So go ahead and sponsor me Chewy because I’m finna give you a deal, too. You know. But yo – this is the real reason. I ain’t go to The White House because I didn’t want to put on that tight-ass fuckin’ suit. Got my fuckin’ neck all up in here and shit. You see how big my neck is? Be up (inaudible, then N word). Be up in there in that tight-ass suit like dawg, nah bro. Cut it (?). I couldn’t do it bro. Loosen my collar and shit, talk to the President, like what’s wrong with you? Like I’m on crack or something. This shit too tight. Fuck wrong witchu? Y’all gotta understand, we football players. We is not basketball players, like, the fuck? The suit was gonna be too tight. I’d have to move and shit. Yeah. We had the AC unit had to get repaired, what else? (CJGJ starts to talk to someone else off-camera). You were cookin? Pool? OTAs…. for real though? Got my ring! (laughs)”

These are all valid reasons. Nobody likes putting on a tight-ass suit. And HVAC guys aren’t always available, so when someone is there to fix the air conditioning, it takes priority. Then you’ve got OTAs coming up with your new team, the Houston Texans. Preparation is key.

The only thing is that CJGJ could always get an expert to tailor his suit and make it more comfortable. You don’t have to wear something constricting. Hell, everybody wears those dress sneakers with a suit these days anyway. You don’t even have to wear a tie now! It’s the suit jacket and pants, t-shirt or dress shirt underneath, then the now-ubiquitous, white-soled shoes that Jeffrey Lurie was wearing during Monday’s ceremony:

Photo: Allen Edmonds

Kevin Kinkead

Kevin has been writing about Philadelphia sports since 2009. He spent seven years in the CBS 3 sports department and started with the Union during the team's 2010 inaugural season. He went to the academic powerhouses of Boyertown High School and West Virginia University. email - k.kinkead@sportradar.com

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