Cam Jurgens, who got a new Eagles deal, was asked what his first big purchase is going to be after Landon Dickerson used his payday to buy a $15,000 lawnmower:

Hell, screw TSA PreCheck go straight for the big kahuna and get Global Entry.

There is nothing more life changing than TSA PreCheck. Sure, $100 million dollars would be nice to fly private, but with the way those planes are falling out of the sky, no thank you. I’ll take that money, upgrade to first class, use my TSA PreCheck and you got yourself a recipe for success. I’ve had PreCheck for like a decade now (humblebrag) and it still baffles me when I travel with people who don’t have it. How can they live going through security with the poors?* I’m already a couple termies deep and have my snacks from Hudson News before they even take their shoes off. Anyone who doesn’t get TSA PreCheck is an idiot. I don’t care if you fly once a year it’s still worth it. It’s going to be even more necessary now that this RealID law is finally becoming a thing. Imagine the absolute shit show that security will be now. Think about the brawls that are going to take place after people waited in an hour-long security line just for the TSA agent to tell you that you don’t have the right document. Go on YouTube and search “TSA PreCheck fight.” No results! Why? Because it’s the greatest thing on Earth. The Government is efficiently inefficient and they couldn’t even screw TSA PreCheck up. That’s how good it is!

Good luck in 2026 with no PreCheck. The Philly airport just had it’s busiest year with more than 30 million people in and out of the place. What do you think it’s going to be like next year? You’re going to be waiting in security lines with a bunch of Moroccans blowing vuvuzelas after a week at the World Cup. Even worse you’ll be forced to hang with Braves fans heading home from the All-Star Game. Getting through security next year is gonna be like The Hunger Games.

P.S. I still don’t know what the hell Clear does and you’re lying if you say you do.


*Kinkead: the solution is to fly out of Allentown or Trenton/etc and skip Philly entirely