AJ Brown’s brain is a magnificent thing. Star receivers fighting with their team all around the NFL and AJ Brown is wondering about the safety of the Tilt-A-Whirl:

The church’s annual donations are going to look like the stock market last week now that AJ’s tanking their funds. The Archdiocese of Philadelphia is going to wonder why next year’s balance sheet took a swift decline and some priest is gonna have to tell the Bishop it’s because of AJ Brown. Those sweet nuns at Holy Redeemer better not think they’re getting any new habits because the tithing will be a lot less this summer now that he’s spreading the good word of screws. Brown definitely has ended up like Outie Mark building a baby crib or two. And you know what? He’s not wrong when you think about it. You got a bunch of toothless hillbillies literally building an entire carnival in a week! You think those things were up to code? I’ve been stuck on the Sizzler, the Gravitron, hell I’ve seen people get stuck on the giant slide. How do you get stuck on the giant slide when there’s gravity? I don’t even trust pilots right now who flew choppers in ‘Nam because a plane did a 180. You want me to trust a guy who didn’t complete the 8th grade?

I love this new AJ. Get this guy some podcast equipment. You know how much Spotify pays for a podcast hosted by a conspiracy theorist nowadays? This guy used to just tweet all this shit and let people come up with their own narratives. Now he’s finally graduating to a different medium. Bryce Harper has baked goods and diseased milk. AJ Brown doesn’t trust redneck carnies. Everyone needs their lane.

It wasn’t too long ago we had this guy traveling down a YouTube wormhole or two:

Now we’re getting hilarious videos of him schooling people on screws and teaching his kid how to be great.


That’s Inner Excellence:

 

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