I don’t want to get political on a Tuesday, but Ryan Wagner of the Philadelphia Wings is an American hero for spearing this Toronto Rock player into the net. I don’t care that he’s a good ‘ol Canadian boy himself. Get that man one of those Trump Citizenship Gold Cards for his performance this past weekend:

In today’s political climate, I see nothing wrong with this. Let those Canucks know that you might be able to beat on us on the turf and ice, but we can and will still dominate you with force. You want to boo the National Anthem? You get speared right into the net! And if we’re being honest, this should count as a goal for the Wings.

How about Toronto going with Captain America jerseys? Who thought that was a good idea? I know it was Marvel Superhero night and the event was most likely planned before Donald Trump floated the idea to make Canada numero 51, but they couldn’t find another superhero? There are billions of them in the Marvel Universe. Ever heard of Captain Canuck? Was no one up there creative enough to create a superhero Mountie? I mean, Deadpool would’ve made more sense since the guy who plays him is like the greatest Canadian export of all time. This is why no one takes Canada seriously. Trump is noogie’ing your leader every time he calls him Governor Trudeau, Drake just got lapped in a rap beef for the last 10 months, and you guys want to be American so badly.

To make it worse you’ve got guys up there refusing to take their helmets off during fights? Have some decorum! It’s real easy to haul off and punch a guy when you have an extra layer of protection. Lose the bucket and fight fair. Wagner ripped his off immediately:

There’s nothing more he could’ve done. He had to spear this guy into the net just off of principle. Listen, Canada might have the upper hand on the US when it comes to recent matchups, but let Ryan Wagner be a warning. Fuck around and find out. Meet us on the hardwood. Better yet, meet us on the gridiron. Give us the Grey Cup winner vs. the Super Bowl Champion Philadelphia Eagles and lets decide this once and for all. You’d be speaking British if it wasn’t for us (I don’t really know if that’s true I just thought it sounded like a cool way to end the blog).


Get ready to learn Red:

White:

and Blue: