Shout out to the lucky red thong* on the Eagles sideline! Strap up bud. Now you gotta wear it for the rest of the year:

You can’t tell me this isn’t the luckiest G-String in the NFL. The Birds had three fumble recoveries, Jalen’s knee stayed intact after a Cowboys player’s helmet almost ended the season, and a made one last second stop after the Cowboys marched 50 yards downfield in 15 seconds. That’s all the luck I need to see out of some red panties. Usually when you beat the Cowboys it’s red panty night. At this guy’s house it’s always red panty night.

Listen to me. If the Eagles go 5-0 in this next gauntlet of a schedule you’re going to see a lot of dudes rocking red thongs* around the tailgates. Trust me. They’re like letting your best friend sleep in a silk hammock.

*Kinkead: I had to put the asterisk next to thong. We just cannot confirm that it is a thong, vs. perhaps red and white striped underwear. We’ll need to get further confirmation before the asterisk is removed. But I want to believe it was a thong.