I regret to inform you of failure. The GoFundMe that was attempting to raise $18,000,000 to buy out one of the two remaining years of Taijuan Walker’s Phillies contract came up $17,999,747.44 short. But the good thing is that the money raised was donated to charity after GoFundMe took their cut:

Good job everyone. The money went to Phillies Charities, Inc., which “supports primarily local charities that serve a wide variety of needs.” How many air conditioners can we buy for Philly public schools with $252.56? One? Half of an air conditioner? No matter. It’s the thought that counts. The Phillies will still have to pay Taijuan Walker $36,000,000 over the next two years, but credit to the guy for getting up there and speaking to reporters and facing the music every time he gets blown up for six runs on eight hits over three innings. Taijuan Walker is a guy with awareness who always knows how to read the room, unlike a certain Philadelphia Eagles defensive back who will remain unnamed.