There are a lot of scumbag Mets fans out there, hopefully staying in New York this weekend, but if we had to pick five of the least-worst, it would go something like this:

5) Glenn Close

Glenn Close? Yeah. Glenn Close.

Question – have you ever heard anyone say a negative thing about Glenn Close? I haven’t. You’re talking about someone who has been nominated for Oscars, Emmys, Tonys, Golden Globes, pretty much everything you can be nominated for. Her early filmography included bangers like Fatal Attraction, Dangerous Liaisons, and The Big Chill. Then there’s the more recent stuff, like The Wife and her appearance on season 2 of Tehran, which I highly recommend. She’s done a couple of national anthems at Mets games, including the 1986 World Series.

4) Marc Anthony

The guy was married to Yankees fan Jennifer Lopez for 10 years and had two children with her, so that alone is good enough to make the list. In addition to his slim fit clothing line that you could find at suburban Pennsylvania Kohl’s locations, he’s won more than 60 awards for his singing and performs the national anthem the way your grandfather prefers, without all of “the extra stuff” –

3) Chris Rock

Before he was getting slapped in the face by Will Smith, Chris Rock was one of the world’s best comedians. Maybe he still is. There was a famous moment in 2011 when he went on Dave Letterman’s show and unloaded on the Mets the way a WIP called would unload on Andy Reid’s Eagles of the same era:


“I’m a Met fan, Dave,” Rock says. “I appreciate the Yankees. Don’t get me wrong. But, you know, they’ve got all the money. It’s like rooting for Steve Jobs to hit the Lotto or something. I can’t go there. [CC] Sabathia’s kids, they live around the corner. They play. But I’m a Met fan.

“My team’s broke, Dave. Some teams don’t have a cleanup hitter. Some teams don’t have a closer, or a good pitcher. My team has no money, Dave.”

“What happened to the money?” Letterman asks. “Where did that go?”

“Bernie Madoff and the Mets … I don’t know Dave,” Rock continues. “I didn’t go to school, Dave. How am I supposed to know this? I’m just some lonely comedian. But they are broke, Dave.”

Funny, but not entirely true. While the Yanks had the highest MLB payroll in 2011, by a large margin, the Mets were 7th.

2) Jerry Seinfeld

Seinfeld can be a jerk, yeah? No matter. The guy who introduced us to man hands, the soup nazi, the black and white cookie, and the puffy shirt gets a top spot on the list.

Confession:

Kyle Scott once threatened to fire me if I didn’t include this clip in a Mets story from 2017:

1) Nas

Nasir Jones, aka Nas. Top five rapper of all-time. He’s been a lifelong Mets fan and done a little of bit of everything related to the team. He’s put Mets references into his lyrics, performed at Citi Field, and his fried chicken spot has a ballpark location (is it still there?). He’s worn Mets jerseys during live performances and you see a lot of photos of him in Mets gear.

“Straight up NYC like a Mets fitted / This a tower heist”

 

honorable mention for least-worst Mets fan: Pharoahe Monch, Julia Stiles, Jon Stewart