Everyone can breathe now that our long national nightmare is over. Dollar Dog Night isn’t going anywhere. I did some investigative journalism (emailed Hatfield Meats Customer Service) and asked them if there are any Dollar Dog Nights scheduled this baseball season. Thanks to Lisa Nice, on her lunch break might I add, for providing a quick response. Dollar Dog Night isn’t going anywhere:

 

Dollar Dog Night:

This is a start, but we’re not out of the woods yet. It all depends on how many DDNs they’re going to give us and I don’t want the Phillies to think this is enough to get them off their back just yet. I’m not going to lie, I’m a little nervous. It’s kind of shady we haven’t gotten any dates yet. Will they give us one? Two? Three? The elusive four when they’re feeling extra generous? Am I crazy for thinking they’re trying to fuck us for sharing a couple dogs with each other last year? –

I just want to remind them what’ll happen if they try any funny business. I’ve got connections at the highest levels of state government:


@kylepagancb

Called Congress to get the @phillies to release another Dollar Dog Night @Senator Bob Casey #phillies #philliesbaseball #philliesfan #philliesgame #bryceharper #philliesnation #fyp #fypphilly #phillytiktok #TopGunMode #philly #philliesfans

♬ original sound – Kyle Pagan

They better do right by the fans. It’d be a real shame if I had to call in some favors.

UPDATE: Don’t make me do it! I have a direct connection to the red phone.